


time enough

by ewagan



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22425751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ewagan/pseuds/ewagan
Summary: Unfortunately, understanding doesn't make him any less angry.
Relationships: Megaera & Thanatos (Hades Video Game), Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 344





	time enough

**Author's Note:**

> i have been quietly screaming about how distressing these dramatic underworld gays (or bis/pans) are for a couple of weeks now. please make no mistake that i am in fact, very distressed by their entire existence and dialogue. anyways, here i am trying to unravel them and thanatos, and this absolutely got away from me.

The House of Hades is different from the last time Thanatos had been here. The drapes are blue for some reason, and Thanatos is certain that the fountain hadn't been there before. But the layout is still familiar, the dead milling about as they rise from the Pool of Styx. The lounge seems to have suffered; the floor is badly scratched and Cerberus looks somewhat guilty and distinctly unhappy. He whines when he sees Thanatos, like Thanatos might somehow convince Zagreus to stay.

Thanatos is highly doubtful he will succeed where even Cerberus has failed.

But how very like Zagreus, to cause so much upheaval in the House of Hades and the Underworld, overturning the order of things. Millenia of rules and customs, and Zagreus simply tearing through all of it.

“Than.”

The urge to just leave is overwhelming, but he turns around and sees Zagreus dripping blood all over the floor. He must have just risen from the Pool of Styx then.

Failure, again. He supposes he should be grateful, because it gives him time to see Zagreus again. But he will leave again, keep trying to fight his way out of Tartarus and beyond. He will make it to Asphodel, then Elysium. Perhaps he will even get far enough to see the sun that Thanatos hates so much.

“What do you want?”

Zagreus seems to hesitate; he’d never done that before. 

“You’re angry with me,” he says.

Thanatos can’t deny it.

He thinks of what Zagreus had said, when he'd found him in the Fields of Elysium, so close to what he wanted and yet so far. _I thought of you and hoped you’d understand._

Thanatos understands, he thinks. He knows Zagreus after all these millenia, understands what is it that pushes Zagreus, that drives him onward. Inasmuch as it is possible to understand someone who is not yourself, he supposes. Duty is what pushes Thanatos forward, but had duty been enough to keep Zagreus here, Lord Hades would have been better pleased and much less burdened.

Unfortunately, understanding doesn't make him any less angry.

“You’re leaving,”

Zagreus hesitates a moment, before he nods. “I’m trying, at least.” There's a touch of self-deprecating humour in the way he says it, and Thanatos is only too aware of what he means. After all, how many times has he died in his attempts thus far? Thanatos might be busy with the mortals, but he is far from unaware of the going-ons in the Underworld.

 _You’re leaving me behind_ , is what Thanatos doesn't say.

“Then go. I've already said goodbye.”

“Than.” There's a touch of exasperation now, and Thanatos pretends he doesn't notice.

“I have work to do,” he says. Then he goes.

* * *

If he had to trace this from inception to end, it would look something like this—

—Zagreus’ laughter echoing through the east hall, the lounge. One of Cerberus’ heads drooling in his lap. His mother’s smiles, Hypnos’ own cheer. Meg’s rare smiles becoming something of a more regular occurrence. The way the House of Hades started to feel a little warmer, a little more like something Thanatos could call home.

So where had the anger come from? Where does it go? What place does it have?

Perhaps Thanatos already knows what he is too afraid to speak aloud, to make real. But what use is there for it here, when Zagreus has already decided to leave?

It is only a matter of time, Thanatos knows.

* * *

He catches up to Zagreus somewhere in Elysium, a brief interval between all the work he has to do. Zagreus is a little winded from his last tussle with the Greatshield, but he doesn't seem too badly hurt. One of these days he will actually make it out there, and Thanatos wonders what he will make of the world outside.

“Getting there now, I think,” Zagreus quips. “Maybe this time I’ll make it to the surface,” He produces another bottle of nectar like he just found it lying around somewhere, offering it up to Thanatos like it’s nothing.

It’s mildly exasperating, Thanatos finds. They're in some weird state of not quite friends, their equilibrium having shifted with Zagreus’ decision to leave. He hasn’t forgiven Zagreus for wanting to leave, nor is Zagreus sorry for wanting to leave. And yet, Zagreus is offering him gifts like he doesn't know the value of them, when Thanatos knows he does.

But he takes the nectar, tucks it away. He has never refused Zagreus anything before, he isn't about to start now.

"I lack your optimism, Zag," he says. And he does, truly. He can only see how badly this will turn out, years of living amongst gods and working with mortals alike. He doesn't know what happened when Persephone left, but he remembers how angry Lord Hades had been, how bitter. How it echoes in the hallways still, even now. Zagreus had never known his father happy, but Thanatos had briefly witnessed the softening of his features, before they settled into all the hard lines they are now. Lord Hades has always been fair, but once he had been kind too.

“I must go,” he says. He’s already lingered too long, done too much. He might be angry with Zagreus, but Thanatos knows himself well enough to know that he would drop everything if Zagreus asked it of him. He should be grateful that Zagreus isn’t the asking kind, even as the green light swallows him.

* * *

Thanatos lacks the kind of faith that the mortals possess, the kind where they entreat the gods for mercy, for intervention. When he himself is a god, what higher power is there for him to believe in? There are other gods, more powerful and older gods than he. But he sees their fickleness and their childishness, petty jealousies and punishments for the smallest slights, and wonders if there is anything about them that is worth believing in.

Sometimes though, he wonders what it feels like, if it is anything at all like how he feels when he sees Zagreus in the thick of battle, glorious and reckless with powers beyond his own as he takes down shades of the dead.

Faith, certainty that Zagreus will accomplish his goal of leaving the Underworld. But Thanatos wonders if like Orpheus, Zagreus will look back, and see what it is he is leaving behind.

* * *

“Oh, Than,” is all Megaera says, when she sees his face. He scowls at her and she pushes her drink at him, waving a shade down for another glass. Thanatos takes it and throws it back, feels his eyes water at whatever it is Meg had been drinking.

“Did he tell you?” he asks. Megaera snorts, pouring herself another drink and topping his glass up.

“I found out when Lord Hades sent me to guard the exit to Tartarus.” she says. “So yes. But also no, not really.”

Thanatos tries to imagine fighting Zagreus like that, and he can’t. Megaera and Zagreus have history, one of the few things Zagreus hadn’t confided in him about. _I don’t want to put you between Meg and I,_ he’d said then. _I don’t want to make you choose._ Meg had simply stared at him when he’d asked her, and said _maybe one day_ , voice quietly pained.

He just knows they haven’t been on the best of terms since; Megaera curt and cool, Zagreus avoidant as he tends to get. Meg is as duty-driven as he is, so he imagines the fight wasn’t pleasant. _Fights_ , he corrects himself. Zagreus must have killed Megaera multiple times to make is as far as Elysium. Megaera looks none too happy about it, but he supposes dying from fighting your former lover isn’t the best of experiences, especially when Hypnos is the one to greet you when you rise from the Pool of Styx.

“He’s really throwing everything out of order, isn’t he?” Thanatos asks, suddenly vexed. That earns him a bitter smile from Megaera.

“You have no idea, Than.” she says. “What about you though? How are you holding up?”

“I’m tired,” he tells her. There’s always so much to do, even more so now he is keeping an eye out for Zagreus as he passes through the Underworld. Megaera eyes him shrewdly, like she knows what he’s been doing even though she doesn't voice her suspicions. “I’m so angry at him,” he confesses.

“That’s how it is with Zagreus,” she says. “You laugh with him or you get angry at him.”

Thanatos clicks his tongue in annoyance, but Meg is right, as she often is. It had always been that way, even when they were younger. Time may have changed many things, but he supposes some things will stay the same.

* * *

“Are you well?” Nyx’s eyes are as endless as the night, watching him with care.

The scrutiny makes Thanatos stiffen. “I’m fine. What brought this on?”

“Can a mother not ask after her son?” Nyx asks mildly. It makes Thanatos feel a twinge of shame for being so curt.

“My apologies, Mother,” He tries to soften his tone. “I’ve just been busy recently.” And it’s true. The war and its aftermath, Zagreus, day after day after day of work. Time is something they have so much of, and yet it feels like there's not nearly enough of it. Nyx looks at him knowingly, concern in her eyes.

“Don't push yourself too hard,” is all she says. Her hand curls around his face in a brief gesture of affection, and Thanatos nods. 

* * *

“You don't have to do this, you know?” Zagreus says, perching on one of the not lava covered rocks on Asphodel. He’d taken more than a few hits, and is somewhat out of breath and peering at a rather nasty burn. It’ll heal fast enough, since they are gods. Even so, Thanatos frowns at the river and wonders when the lava will stop, or if it's just another reaction from Lord Hades towards Zagreus' bid for the surface. He pities the souls who live here. Asphodel had hardly been interesting or idyllic like Elysium, but it had been peaceful, not rife with lava that threatened just about everyone. This was a punishment worse than Tartarus; at least that wasn't overrun with lava right now.

“Than?” Zagreus presses.

“What.” He glances over, and Zagreus has an odd look on his face, like he’s just figured something out. Thanatos is afraid to know what he’s finally figured out, and he has work anyways. “I need to go,” he says. But Zagreus reaches out and grabs his wrist, a silent request to stay.

“Than,” Zagreus says his name with a sort of reverence that Thanatos has never heard from him otherwise, to anyone else or anything. It terrifies him, that softness, what it could mean.

“I really do have a lot of work to do,” Thanatos protests, but he doesn’t pull himself free or teleport away. 

“Just a couple more minutes, please?” he asks softly.

Thanatos has never been able to refuse Zagreus anything, least of this, least of all now. So he sits down next to Zagreus, and breathes even as Zagreus’ hands enfold his own, keeping him in place, if only for now.

“Thank you, Than,” he says.

The way he says it makes Thanatos wonder what brought this on, if Zagreus knows what he has done in making the choices he has so far. He has divided the House of Hades, has shaken up the very foundations that dictate how the Underworld is run. He set himself against his father, rallied the Olympians to aid him.

Thanatos does not believe in miracles, nor does he care overmuch for the Fates’ weavings. He does not see the patterns they are making, nor does he know how this will play out.

What he knows is this—Zagreus’ hands around his own, his gratitude for the choices Thanatos has made in aiding him. The tentative belief that somehow there is a way that this will not end in disaster, that they will somehow make it through without changing too much, losing too much.

Thanatos has never been one for belief, for faith, for optimism, but for now, this is something he can believe in.

* * *

The bottle of ambrosia is what really sends him off the edge, because _really_ , they were in Hades, not Olympus. How in Hades had Zagreus acquired it is beyond Thanatos, because there was absolutely no reason for any ambrosia to be down here.

He thinks about it too much, how he had shoved Mort at Zagreus and fled, how he’s still not sure what to do with all the nectar he’d been given, and now the bottle of ambrosia. They joked about a feast once Zagreus succeeded, drinking themselves stupid, but as it is, Thanatos feels so much a fool already. He doesn't need to drink to make himself more of one.

That Zagreus gives him yet another bottle makes him almost furious, but he is grateful in some ways. It is clearer now, where they are, where they stand, where they could go. He knows himself, his heart. They have time, but perhaps spending so much of his time amongst the mortals has made him aware how quickly it passes, how easy it is to lose years.

He’s heard Achilles say this before, that fear is for the weak. But the strong are not immune to it, and Thanatos knows best that there is far more to fear than death, and many different things to fear.

It is fear that takes him to Zagreus’ room, but hope that makes him stay, and wait.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments appreciated. you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ewagan)


End file.
